My shadow; My Story

I posted this photo about 2 months ago via my Facebook and Instagram accounts. I added in the description the following:

This quote was on my 2014 calendar, and for some reason I left it up. Every quote that I post has a story behind it, but this one really caught me off guard. Only yesterday did it’s meaning truly sink in, and one that I thought I would share… Anyone who has suffered or is suffering from a mental illness can tell you how difficult recovery is. It’s a silent, daily battle, and some days you fall short, but you keep rebuilding the life you want to live. Relapse is a fear that I dread. I used to believe that the good days were temporary, and I should save my energy for the bad days. It resulted in years of fear and disappointment. This quote made me realise that although the dark days will come (it’s life!), the good days definitely outshine the dark.

Mental Illnesses are still a taboo conversation to have, but luckily we have come a long way. My Grandma’s generation would never speak of their struggles, my mother’s generation it became known but still unacknowledged. With the aid of social media, mental illnesses and general mental health have become a topic of discussion for my generation. There have been amazing community initiatives like ‘R U Ok Day’ that encourage people to ask the one’s around them, ‘Are you okay?’. When I posted the above photo I get the response from my mother ‘Are you sure you want to post that on your page?’ (conflict of generations). She has always been the one to worry about what I post on my Facebook (my teenage rebellion found her Facebook account unfriended), but when she said this I was left perplexed. I then responded ‘If the people on my Facebook don’t like it, or judge me because of my past, then I don’t need them’.

I don’t want my blog space just reflect the positive, driven life I am living or wish to lead. I have a past that was crippled with uninformed decisions, depression, and more that have definitely shaped who I am. I’ve spent the past two years developing myself in more ways then one. I have fallen down, been given second and third chances, but I will always fight for happiness.

With or without your permission, I will involve these stories and the lessons I’ve learned into future blog posts. Mental illnesses are not something to be ashamed of. I will fight the stigma until I am blue in the face.

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” -Proverb

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